What Is a Legacy Letter? (And How to Write One)

What Exactly Is a Legacy Letter?

A legacy letter is a personal document in which you communicate your values, life lessons, cherished memories, and heartfelt messages to your loved ones. Unlike a legal will that distributes your assets, a legacy letter distributes your wisdom. It is not legally binding, does not require an attorney, and can take any form — a handwritten letter, a typed document, an audio recording, or a video message. The only requirement is that it comes from the heart.

The terms "legacy letter" and "ethical will" are used interchangeably across disciplines, though "legacy letter" has become increasingly preferred for its warmer, more conversational connotation. A 2022 scoping review published in Palliative & Supportive Care examined 51 publications across 14 databases and found that 94% used the term "ethical will," while 12% also used "legacy letter" — the second most common term (Neller et al., 2022, Cambridge University Press). Other variations include "legacy statement," "spiritual legacy," "love will," and "legacy video."

The concept is elegantly simple: a legal will documents what you want your heirs to have; a legacy letter documents what you want them to know. Estate planning attorney Allan Silva puts it this way: clients who have received legacy letters from family members consider them their most valuable possession — more cherished than any material inheritance (Blacksburg Law, 2025).

Where Did the Legacy Letter Tradition Originate?

The legacy letter tradition traces back approximately 3,500 years to the ancient Jewish practice of ethical wills, or tzava'ot. The original template appears in Genesis 49:1–33, where the patriarch Jacob, on his deathbed, gathered his twelve sons to offer blessings, moral directives, and burial instructions (Legacy Letter Organization; Wikipedia, "Ethical Will"). This oral tradition of passing wisdom from one generation to the next became foundational to Jewish culture and eventually spread to Christian and Muslim communities throughout the medieval period.

How Did Ethical Wills Evolve Over Centuries?

The earliest surviving written ethical will was composed by Eleazar, son of Isaac of Worms, around 1050 CE. Written as he approached death, Eleazar's letter contained both spiritual counsel and practical instructions for his sons (Wikipedia, "Ethical Will"; EBSCO Research). By the 11th through 13th centuries, ethical wills had become increasingly common in Spain, Germany, and France. Medieval examples ranged from brief personal notes to elaborate treatises written in rhymed prose, such as the 15th-century "Letter of Advice" by Solomon Alami, which doubled as a historical record of Jewish life on the Iberian Peninsula.

The tradition declined during the later centuries but was rediscovered in powerful ways — ethical wills were found among remnants of the Holocaust, inscribed on synagogue walls, published in ghetto newspapers, and tucked inside books (Legacy Letter Organization). In the 21st century, the practice has experienced a significant revival, driven by growing interest in spirituality, meaning-making, and the rise of digital legacy tools. Today, ethical wills are written by people of every age, ethnicity, faith tradition, and economic circumstance.

How Is a Legacy Letter Different From a Legal Will?

A legacy letter and a legal will serve fundamentally different purposes, though they are powerful complements to each other. Understanding the distinction helps clarify why you need both.

Interestingly, only 24% of Americans currently have a legal will (Caring.com, 2025), and only 17% have thought about who should receive their possessions (Trust & Will/Talker Research, 2025). The percentage who have written a legacy letter is likely far smaller — yet it is often the legacy letter, not the legal will, that families treasure most. A legal will tells your family what to do with your things. A legacy letter tells them who you were and why it all mattered.

For more on how to set up the legal side of end-of-life planning, see our funeral planning checklist, which covers wills, advance directives, and financial preparation.

Why Should You Write a Legacy Letter?

Writing a legacy letter benefits both the writer and the recipient — and research is beginning to confirm what families have known for millennia. A growing body of evidence from palliative care shows that legacy-creating interventions enhance spiritual well-being, reduce anxiety, decrease feelings of hopelessness, and increase satisfaction with quality of life in patients facing end of life (Brady et al., 1999; Breitbart et al., 2004; cited in AOSW, 2017).

What Are the Benefits for the Writer?

The act of writing a legacy letter is itself a form of life review — a therapeutic process with measurable psychological benefits. According to the 2022 scoping review by Neller et al., the purposes and outcomes identified across 51 publications included:

• Addressing mortality: Writing helps individuals confront and process their awareness of death in a constructive way.
• Renewing intergenerational connections: The process reconnects writers to their family's history and strengthens bonds across generations.
• Solidifying identity: Reflecting on values, experiences, and lessons clarifies who you are and what your life has meant.
• Promoting transcendence: Creating a lasting document offers a form of symbolic immortality — a way to live on in the hearts and minds of others (Lifton, 1979; Newton & Jones, 2016).
• Finding peace of mind: Dr. Barry Baines, a hospice physician and the foremost expert on ethical wills — cited in 61% of all publications on the topic — reports that the process brings enormous comfort to patients who fear leaving no trace of themselves behind (Baines; MiraSol Health, 2024).

Celebrity physician Andrew Weil has promoted the ethical will as a gift of spiritual health, noting that its greatest value lies in what it gives the writer during life, not just what it leaves behind after death (Wikipedia, "Ethical Will").

What Are the Benefits for the Recipient?

For the people who receive a legacy letter, the document becomes an irreplaceable source of comfort, guidance, and connection. Research in palliative care suggests that receiving a letter from a loved one after death can modify the grief experience and provide family members with ongoing support during bereavement (Neller et al., 2022). The legacy letter offers something no photograph, heirloom, or financial inheritance can — the actual voice, perspective, and wisdom of the person who has died.

As children grow, a legacy letter from a parent or grandparent takes on new meaning at each developmental stage. What a 10-year-old reads as simple reassurance, a 25-year-old may read as profound guidance, and a 40-year-old may read as a mirror of their own parenting journey. This is why recording a video version can be especially powerful — it preserves not just words, but tone, expression, and presence.

What Should You Include in a Legacy Letter?

There are no rules — a legacy letter is as unique as the person who writes it. However, decades of practice across hospice, palliative care, estate planning, and religious traditions have identified common themes that resonate deeply with recipients.

What Are the Most Common Themes in Legacy Letters?

The 2022 scoping review by Neller et al. categorized 84 unique terms used to describe legacy letter content into major thematic groups. Combined with guidance from Dr. Barry Baines, Rachael Freed (author of Women's Lives, Women's Legacies), and the Legacy Letter Organization, here are the most frequently included elements:

Experts consistently caution against one thing: using a legacy letter to express disappointment, settle scores, or criticize your heirs' life choices. Because the letter may be read after your death — when there is no opportunity for dialogue or clarification — the tone should be kind, loving, and constructive (EBSCO Research; Neller et al., 2022). If you need to address difficult truths, share the letter while you are alive so a conversation can follow.

For additional writing inspiration, see our guide on 10 writing prompts for your afterlife message, which offers specific sentence starters and contexts for each type of message.

How Do You Actually Write a Legacy Letter Step by Step?

Start by setting aside quiet, uninterrupted time — and give yourself permission to write imperfectly. A legacy letter does not need to be literary. It needs to be real. Here is a structured approach that works for most people.

What Is the Best Structure for a Legacy Letter?

The Legacy Letter Organization and estate planning professionals generally recommend a four-section framework — though your letter can be as short as one page or as long as a full memoir:

1. Opening — Set the context

Begin by explaining why you are writing this letter and to whom. This grounds the reader and establishes the emotional tone. You might write: "I am writing this letter because there are things I want you to know — things I might not have said clearly enough in everyday life, and things I want to be certain survive me."

2. Significant memories — Share what shaped you

Recall the pivotal moments, people, and experiences that defined your values and worldview. This is where family history, immigration stories, formative challenges, and turning points belong. Keep it focused — a legacy letter is not a full autobiography but a capsule of your essence. The Legacy Letter Organization recommends limiting each section to roughly three pages to maintain momentum and emotional clarity.

3. Beliefs and lessons — Pass on your wisdom

This is the heart of the legacy letter. Share the principles that guided your decisions, the lessons you learned from both successes and failures, and the advice you would give if you could sit beside your reader one last time. Be specific — "Work hard" is generic; "Never take a job just for the money; the work itself has to mean something to you, or it will hollow you out" is a legacy.

4. Closing — Bless, hope, and love

End with expressions of love, hope for the future, and blessings for the people you are addressing. This is where many writers find themselves most moved — and most honest. You might close with something as simple as: "I am so proud of the person you are becoming. Everything I have done was, in the end, about making sure you know you are loved."

What Tips Help Overcome Writer's Block?

The most common obstacle to writing a legacy letter is not knowing where to start. Here are strategies that work:

• Use the "one hour" prompt: "If I had only one hour to live and could only communicate through a letter, what would I write — and to whom?" This question, widely used in ethical will workshops, cuts through hesitation and gets to the core.
• Write multiple letters: You do not have to write one letter to everyone. Some people write separate letters to their spouse, each child, a close friend, or even a community. Personalized messages feel more intimate and meaningful.
• Start with a sentence stem: "On the day you were born..." or "The moment that changed everything for me was..." These prompts bypass the blank-page paralysis.
• Speak before you write: Record yourself talking about what matters most, then transcribe and edit. Many people find it easier to speak than to write — and a recording also preserves your voice. Services like LastWithYou let you record video messages that serve the same purpose in a multimedia format.
• Get a second reader: Author Barry K. Baines recommends sharing your draft with a trusted friend or family member before finalizing it. They can identify sections that may be unintentionally one-sided, overly judgmental, or incomplete.
• Do not aim for perfection on the first draft: Write something now. You can revise it throughout your life, just as you would update a legal will. The worst legacy letter is the one never written.

Can a Legacy Letter Be a Video or Audio Recording?

Absolutely — and multimedia legacy letters are increasingly popular. The 2022 scoping review confirmed that modern ethical wills encompass written, audio, and visual formats (Neller et al., 2022). A video legacy letter adds dimensions that text alone cannot capture: your voice, your facial expressions, the warmth behind your words, and the specific way you say someone's name.

What Are the Advantages of a Video Legacy Letter?

A video legacy letter combines the permanence of a written document with the emotional presence of being in the room. For young children who may not yet read, a video becomes especially precious — they can watch a parent or grandparent speaking directly to them, year after year, as they grow. Dignity Therapy, a research-based psychotherapy used in palliative care settings, uses a structured interview to help patients create a formalized legacy document recording their most cherished memories, life lessons, and hopes for their loved ones (Montross-Thomas et al., 2015, BMC Palliative Care).

If you choose a video format, our guide on how to record a video message for your family covers practical tips on lighting, framing, and emotional preparation. For the ultimate combination, write a legacy letter and record a video — the text provides permanence and detail, while the video provides presence and emotion.

When Should You Write a Legacy Letter?

The best time to write a legacy letter is when you are healthy, clear-minded, and under no pressure — which means the best time is now. Waiting until a terminal diagnosis or health crisis means writing under emotional duress, often with limited time and energy.

Is There a Wrong Time to Write One?

The only truly wrong time is never. However, experts note that a legacy letter written in the depths of grief, anger, or a family conflict may not reflect your best self. If you are currently in emotional turmoil, it may be better to journal privately first and return to the legacy letter when you have clarity. Remember: this document may be read when you are no longer present to explain, clarify, or correct — so let it represent the person you most want your family to remember.

Life transitions offer natural prompts for writing or updating a legacy letter: the birth of a child or grandchild, a milestone birthday, retirement, a health scare, a move, or the death of someone close. Rachael Freed of Life Legacies recommends treating your legacy letter as a living document — revisiting and revising it as your perspective evolves (Life Legacies).

If you are struggling with what to say, our guide on things to say before it's too late draws on Ira Byock's four essential statements — "Please forgive me," "I forgive you," "Thank you," and "I love you" — as a framework for any legacy letter.

How Does a Legacy Letter Fit Into Your Overall Estate Plan?

A legacy letter is the emotional complement to your legal estate plan. Together, they form a complete picture of who you are and what you leave behind. Estate planning attorneys increasingly recognize this — the 2022 scoping review found that 47.1% of all publications about ethical wills came from law, estate, and financial planning disciplines (Neller et al., 2022), reflecting a growing professional consensus that estate planning should address values alongside valuables.

What Documents Should Accompany a Legacy Letter?

A comprehensive end-of-life plan includes both legal and personal documents:

• Legal will or trust — Asset distribution and guardian designation
• Advance healthcare directive — Medical wishes if incapacitated
• Powers of attorney — Financial and healthcare decision-making authority
• Legacy letter — Values, wisdom, stories, and love
• Digital legacy plan — Online accounts, passwords, social media wishes (see our digital legacy guide)
• Funeral preferences — Service type, disposition, ceremony details
• Afterlife messages — Video or written messages scheduled for delivery after death via LastWithYou

Think of your estate plan as two sides of a coin. The legal side protects your family from financial and logistical chaos. The personal side — your legacy letter and afterlife messages — protects them from emotional regret and unanswered questions. Both are essential. Only together do they represent a complete legacy.

Conclusion

A legacy letter is perhaps the most personal document you will ever write — and the most treasured one your family will ever receive. It costs nothing but time and honesty. It requires no attorney, no witness, and no formal structure. All it requires is a willingness to reflect on what your life has meant and to share that meaning with the people who matter most.

The tradition stretches back 3,500 years, from Jacob's blessings to his sons to Holocaust survivors carving messages on synagogue walls to the modern hospice patient recording a video for their grandchildren. Every era finds its own way to answer the same timeless question: When I am gone, what do I want my loved ones to know?

You do not need to be dying to answer that question. You just need to start writing.