What Is a Living Funeral and Should You Have One?

What Exactly Is a Living Funeral?

A living funeral is a ceremony or gathering held to celebrate someone's life while they are still alive and present. Unlike a traditional funeral, where eulogies are delivered to a person who can no longer hear them, a living funeral puts the guest of honor at the center of the celebration — able to listen, respond, laugh, cry, and say goodbye on their own terms. The format is entirely flexible: it can be a formal ceremony in a cathedral, an intimate dinner at home, a picnic in a park, or a full-blown party with music, dancing, and speeches. There are no rules about what a living funeral must look like, which is precisely what makes it so personal (Marie Curie, 2025).

Living funerals go by many names — pre-funerals, living wakes, living memorials, celebrations of life while alive, or simply farewell parties. Some people prefer to avoid the word "funeral" entirely because it implies death, and the entire point of a living funeral is to celebrate life. Whatever you call it, the core idea is the same: give people the chance to express their love, gratitude, and memories while the person they're honoring can still receive them.

Anyone can have a living funeral. While they are most commonly associated with people who have a terminal illness, a growing number of healthy people are choosing to hold them — simply because they don't want to wait until they're gone to hear how much they mean to the people around them. If you've ever thought about the things you'd want to say before it's too late, a living funeral is one of the most powerful ways to create space for exactly those conversations.

Where Did Living Funerals Originate?

The modern concept of the living funeral has its clearest roots in Japan, where it emerged in the 1990s under the name seizenso (生前葬), which literally translates to "funeral while living." The first widely recognized seizenso was held by Japanese actress and singer Takiko Mizunoe in 1992 and was broadcast on television to wide public interest (Seven Ponds, 2020). In Japan's cultural context, the seizenso served a practical purpose: elderly individuals could take the burden of funeral planning off their families while also having the rare opportunity to receive appreciation and say farewell in person.

The concept also took deep root in South Korea, where it evolved in a different direction. Seoul-based funeral company Hyowon Healing Center has offered mass living funeral services since 2012. More than 25,000 people have participated, lying in closed coffins for a period of time as a form of "death experience" designed to help them appreciate life and reduce thoughts of suicide. According to Reuters, the program has attracted participants ranging from teenagers to retirees, all hoping to gain perspective by confronting their own mortality in a controlled environment (Reuters, 2019).

In the West, living funerals remained relatively niche until the 2020s, when a combination of the COVID-19 pandemic's impact on how we think about death, increased media coverage, and shifting generational attitudes brought them into mainstream awareness. Today, the practice is being embraced across the United States, the United Kingdom, Australia, and Singapore, with each culture adding its own interpretation.

Why Are Millennials and Gen Z Driving the Living Funeral Trend?

Younger generations are significantly more interested in living funerals than their parents or grandparents. A 2024 survey by Funeral Choice of 2,000 UK adults found that 29% of all respondents were interested in having a living funeral, but that figure nearly doubled among 18–24-year-olds (53%) and remained at 52% among 25–34-year-olds (eHospice / Funeral Choice, 2024). Google search queries for "living funeral" have increased by 30% over the past year, with more than 18,000 monthly searches in the UK alone.

Several forces are driving this shift. Millennials and Gen Z are the first generations to grow up with social media, where public expressions of love, gratitude, and vulnerability are normalized rather than avoided. The NFDA's 2025 generational survey found that 68% of Gen Z strongly agree that it is important to commemorate a life with a funeral or memorial service, but they also want those commemorations to feel personal and authentic rather than formulaic (NFDA, 2025). A living funeral, where the format is entirely self-determined, fits this desire perfectly.

There's also a broader cultural shift happening around death itself. The "death positive" movement, popularized by organizations like The Order of the Good Death, encourages people to talk openly about dying rather than treating it as taboo. Living funerals are a natural extension of this philosophy: if death is something we can discuss honestly, then why shouldn't we also celebrate the life it will eventually end — while there's still time to do so? For a deeper look at how younger people are engaging with these questions, see our article on Gen Z and death in the digital age.

What Are the Psychological Benefits of a Living Funeral?

Living funerals are not just emotionally moving — emerging research suggests they offer tangible psychological benefits for both the person being honored and their loved ones. A 2025 case report published in Palliative Care and Social Practice documented the experience of a terminally ill patient in Singapore who hosted her own living funeral while receiving home hospice care. The researchers found that the event enhanced her psychological well-being, provided a sense of "wholesome completion," and increased social interaction even as her condition continued to deteriorate (Sim & Sim, 2025).

How Does a Living Funeral Affect the Guest of Honor?

For the person at the center of the event, a living funeral provides something that no traditional funeral can: the experience of hearing, in real time, how you have mattered to the people you love. The Singapore case study described the patient shifting from being "a passive recipient of care to an active participant in her farewell," with the planning process itself giving her a sense of purpose and fulfillment. During the event, she was described as "the life of the party" by her friends — despite ongoing symptoms of pain, fatigue, and nausea. The researchers noted that the living funeral aligned with Butler's life review approach, which describes a natural psychological process in which people facing the end of life review and evaluate their experiences, and with Erikson's concept of ego integrity — the sense that one's life has been meaningful and complete.

Rob, a 33-year-old man with terminal leukemia interviewed by The Guardian in 2024, captured it more simply: "If people are going to say nice things about me, I'd rather be there to hear it." He held his living funeral at a local theme park, complete with ball pits, zip wires, and what he called "the death slide." When he reached the bottom, about 70 people burst into applause (The Guardian, 2024).

How Does a Living Funeral Affect the Loved Ones Who Attend?

For family and friends, a living funeral offers something that grief counselors consistently identify as one of the most powerful antidotes to complicated bereavement: the chance to say everything you want to say while there's still time. Research published in Death Studies has shown that a positive perception of a funeral is associated with positive affect in the months following a loss, and that larger gatherings increase psycho-social support and reduce later regrets among the bereaved (Vega Tirado et al., 2022). A living funeral amplifies both of these factors — the gathering is explicitly designed to be positive, and the mutual exchange of emotions creates a shared experience that friends and family can draw on during the grieving process that follows.

Georgia Martin, founder of the UK-based living funeral service A Beautiful Goodbye, told The Guardian: "When you say these things out loud, it takes away an element of grief, because you've said everything you wanted to say. It gives you clarity that you otherwise wouldn't have." If you're interested in understanding more about how advance communication reduces grief, our guide on what bereaved families wish they had done differently explores this research in detail.

What Do Real Living Funerals Actually Look Like?

There is no single template for a living funeral. The beauty of the concept is its total flexibility — it reflects the personality, values, and wishes of the person being celebrated. Here are some real examples that illustrate the range of what's possible.

What Was Kris Hallenga's "FUNeral" Like?

One of the most publicly visible living funerals in recent years was held by Kris Hallenga, co-founder of the UK breast cancer charity CoppaFeel!, in 2023 at Truro Cathedral in Cornwall. Diagnosed with terminal stage 4 breast cancer, Hallenga organized what she called her "FUNeral" — a celebration filled with music, dancing, eulogies, and a surprise appearance by comedian Dawn French, who delivered a eulogy in character as Geraldine Granger from The Vicar of Dibley. The event was later documented in a BBC special, Living Every Second: The Kris Hallenga Story. Hallenga described the day as one of the best of her life and used it as a platform to encourage more open conversations about death (The Celebrant Directory, 2024). Kris Hallenga died in May 2024 at the age of 38.

What Did Michael's "Death Over Dinner" Living Funeral Involve?

Michael, who founded the non-profit organization Death Over Dinner to facilitate conversations about dying, had a living funeral thrown for him by friends at age 40. Around 35 people gathered at a house in Point Reyes, California. He was bathed, anointed with oils, dressed in white, blindfolded, and lowered into an open casket made by a local carpenter — without being told about that last part in advance. He lay motionless for three hours while friends shared grievances, memories, and feelings they'd never expressed. "It felt like a truckload of emotion," he told The Guardian. "I'd had the most important people in my life tell me how meaningful I was to them. It was one of the most meaningful experiences of my life" (The Guardian, 2024).

What Does a Quiet, Intimate Living Funeral Look Like?

Not every living funeral is a grand event. Mille, an 87-year-old Danish woman living in the UK, held hers on a sunny afternoon in the orchard of her home. Her daughter decorated the trees with ribbons, scattered rose petals and lavender on the ground, played records on an old gramophone, and served Danish pastries on wedding china. Children sat on giant wooden mushrooms while Mille shared stories from her life and went through her mother's cookbook with her granddaughters. "The main thing I took from it," Mille said, "was that life needs to be shared" (The Guardian, 2024).

How Do You Plan a Living Funeral?

Planning a living funeral is simpler than you might expect. There are no funeral industry regulations to follow, no required formats, and no mandatory elements. It is, at its core, a gathering you design yourself. That said, some thoughtful planning makes the difference between a meaningful experience and an awkward one.

What Are the Key Decisions to Make?

Start with the basics: who do you want there, where should it happen, and what tone do you want to set? The guest list is the most important decision. Some people invite hundreds; others keep it to a handful of the closest relationships. Claire, a 36-year-old with terminal breast cancer interviewed by The Guardian, chose to hold three separate smaller events rather than one large one — two with family and one with friends — so she could have genuine conversations without feeling overwhelmed.

For the venue, choose somewhere that feels meaningful to you: your home, a favorite restaurant, a garden, a park, a place of worship, or even — as Rob demonstrated — a theme park. The tone can range from deeply solemn to joyfully irreverent. Jessica May, a UK celebrant who specializes in living funerals, advises: "If you don't like being the centre of attention, an informal gathering would be best. If you're a big party animal and you want glitter balls and a 'ta da' moment — damn well have one" (eHospice, 2024).

What Should the Event Include?

Common elements of living funerals include spoken tributes or eulogies (which can be structured or spontaneous), a memory wall or photo display, music (live or recorded), shared meals, readings of letters, and group activities that reflect the guest of honor's interests. Some people ask attendees to bring a written memory or message on a card, which can be collected into a keepsake book or hung on a memory tree. Others incorporate video messages from people who can't attend in person. If you're looking for ideas about what to say or write, our guide to afterlife message writing prompts can help spark the right words.

One practical consideration from the Singapore case study: be prepared for an increase in social contact after the event. Ms. T experienced a surge in calls and messages from friends who had attended, which was initially welcome but eventually led to social fatigue. Setting boundaries after the event — and having a support person who can manage incoming communication — is worth planning for.

How Much Does a Living Funeral Cost?

A living funeral can cost anything from almost nothing to thousands of dollars, depending on the format. An intimate gathering at home with homemade food and a playlist costs only the price of groceries. A catered event at a rented venue with a professional celebrant, photographer, and decorations could range from $500 to $5,000 or more. Compared to traditional funerals — which average $7,848 in the United States according to the National Funeral Directors Association — even an elaborate living funeral is usually significantly less expensive, and you have the added advantage of being there to enjoy it. For broader funeral planning guidance, see our guide to planning your own memorial.

What Are the Potential Drawbacks or Challenges?

Living funerals are not right for everyone, and honest consideration of the potential challenges is important before committing to one.

Can a Living Funeral Be Emotionally Overwhelming?

Yes. Hearing dozens of people tell you how much you mean to them while simultaneously confronting your own mortality is, by definition, emotionally intense. Michael, who lay in a casket during his living funeral, described needing space afterward: "I wasn't ready to party." The Singapore case study noted that the patient experienced social fatigue from increased contact after the event and had to turn off her phone to manage it. If you are someone who finds emotional intensity draining rather than energizing, a smaller and more structured event may be more appropriate than an open-ended celebration.

What If Some Guests Find the Concept Uncomfortable?

Not everyone is comfortable with the idea of attending someone's funeral while that person is still alive. Cultural taboos around discussing death persist even among younger generations, and some guests may feel unsure how to behave. Clear communication in your invitation — explaining what the event is, why you're holding it, and what tone you're going for — goes a long way. Claire, who held celebrations of life while living with terminal cancer, deliberately avoided using the word "funeral" in her invitations for this reason. She found that framing the events as "celebrations of life" made people more receptive.

Does a Living Funeral Replace a Traditional Funeral?

Not necessarily. Many people who hold living funerals still plan to have a traditional funeral or memorial service after their death. The two serve different purposes: the living funeral is for the guest of honor to say goodbye; the traditional funeral is for the bereaved to grieve, remember, and begin healing. The Singapore case study's patient explicitly chose to exclude family members from her living funeral because she didn't want them to experience grief twice, while still planning a traditional wake. Others include everyone in both events. There is no wrong approach — the point is to choose what feels right for you and your family.

How Can Afterlife Messages Complement a Living Funeral?

One of the most beautiful — and most frequently mentioned — aspects of living funerals is the chance to say things you've never said. But even the most well-planned living funeral has limits. You may not have the energy to speak to every person individually. Some emotions may be too private for a group setting. And there will be things you think of afterward that you wish you'd said in the moment. There are also people who simply cannot attend — those who live far away, who are too young to understand at the time, or who will enter your life after the event.

This is where afterlife messages fill a gap that living funerals leave open. An afterlife message is a recorded video or written message that you prepare while you're alive and that gets delivered to specific people after you die. It's the private, one-on-one counterpart to the public celebration of a living funeral. At your living funeral, you can tell a room full of people how much they mean to you. In an afterlife message, you can tell your daughter something just for her — a piece of advice for her wedding day, a story about the day she was born, or simply the words "I'm proud of you" delivered at a moment when she needs to hear it most.

The combination of a living funeral and afterlife messages creates the most complete farewell possible: a public celebration and a private conversation. The living funeral handles the communal goodbye; the afterlife message handles the intimate, individual one. If this idea resonates with you, our guide to why you should leave a message for your loved ones explores the emotional and practical case in detail.

Conclusion

A living funeral is one of the most human things you can do. It inverts the tragic irony of traditional funerals — where the person being honored is the only one who can't hear the words — and turns it into something alive, mutual, and deeply connecting. From Japanese seizenso ceremonies in the 1990s to Kris Hallenga's joyful "FUNeral" at Truro Cathedral, from South Korea's mass coffin experiences to an 87-year-old grandmother sharing Danish pastries under decorated trees, the practice has proven itself across cultures and circumstances.

The psychological evidence, while still emerging, points clearly toward benefits: enhanced well-being, a sense of closure and completeness, reinforced social bonds, and reduced regret for everyone involved. With 53% of young adults now expressing interest in having one, living funerals are moving from the margins into the mainstream. You don't need a terminal diagnosis to have one. You don't need a cathedral or a theme park. You just need the willingness to create a space where the people you love can tell you what you mean to them — and where you can say the same thing back.

And for everything you can't say in that room — the private words, the future milestones, the messages for people who aren't there yet — an afterlife message ensures that nothing remains unsaid.