What Is an Afterlife Message? A Complete Guide to Leaving Words for Your Loved Ones

Every year, millions of people lose someone they love without warning. According to a 2025 Pew Research Center survey of 8,750 U.S. adults, only 32% have created a will — and even fewer have left personal messages for their families. Yet research shows that family members who couldn't say goodbye face a higher risk of complicated grief. An afterlife message solves this problem by letting you say everything that matters, on your own terms. In this guide, you'll learn exactly what an afterlife message is, how it works, why it matters, and how to create one.

What exactly is an afterlife message?

An afterlife message is any personal communication — video, letter, photo, or voice recording — that you create while you're alive and arrange to be delivered to specific people after you're gone. Unlike a will, which handles legal and financial matters, an afterlife message is purely emotional and personal. It's the words you want someone to hear when you can no longer say them yourself.

The concept is not new. People have left farewell letters and deathbed instructions for centuries. What has changed is the technology. Today, online platforms allow you to record a video on your phone, write a letter on your laptop, or upload voice recordings — and have them automatically delivered via email on a date you choose.

What types of afterlife messages can you leave?

There are several formats, depending on what feels most natural to you.

Video messages are the most personal option. Your loved ones can see your face, hear your voice, and feel your presence. Many people record videos for specific milestones — a child's graduation, a wedding, or a birthday they know they won't attend.

Letters and diary entries allow you to express yourself thoughtfully, with time to choose exactly the right words. Some people write one letter; others write dozens, addressed to different people for different occasions.

Voice recordings offer a middle ground between video and text. They capture your tone, your laughter, and the unique way you say "I love you" — without the self-consciousness that sometimes comes with being on camera.

Photos with captions can tell a story on their own. A photo from a meaningful moment, paired with a few sentences explaining why it mattered, can become one of the most treasured gifts a person ever receives.

Why do afterlife messages matter?

Afterlife messages matter because most people never get the chance to say goodbye. Death is rarely convenient and almost never expected, even when it's anticipated.

What does the research say about unspoken goodbyes?

The evidence is clear: not being able to say goodbye causes real psychological harm. A 2024 article in Psychology Today by Dr. Chris Gilbert, citing multiple peer-reviewed studies, explains that family members who could not say goodbye are at a higher risk for complicated grief — characterized by persistent longing, difficulty moving forward, and a significant impact on daily functioning. Additional research published in Death Studies found that unresolved farewells can lead to prolonged grieving and feelings of guilt and anger.

On the other hand, studies published in Motivation Science (2020) found that people who say goodbye — and say it well — experience more positive emotions, fewer regrets, and easier life transitions.

An afterlife message lets you say goodbye well, even if the timing of your departure is out of your control.

How many people actually prepare for this?

Very few. The 2025 Pew Research Center survey found that only 32% of U.S. adults have created a will, and only 31% have a living will or advance health care directive. Personal messages for loved ones are prepared by an even smaller number.

A separate 2023 NORC study commissioned by VITAS Healthcare found that only 22% of Americans have documented their end-of-life wishes in any form. And a 2024 poll by Talker Research found that 90% of people believe end-of-life conversations are important, yet more than half haven't started one.

The gap between intention and action is enormous. Afterlife message services exist precisely to close that gap.

How does an afterlife message service work?

Most afterlife message services follow a similar three-step process: create, schedule, and deliver.

Step 1: Create your message. You record a video, write a letter, upload photos, or leave a voice message using the platform. Most services work on any device — phone, tablet, or computer.

Step 2: Set your recipients and delivery date. You choose who receives your message and when. This could be a specific calendar date (like a birthday or anniversary), or it could be triggered by a check-in system — if you stop responding to periodic "Are you still with us?" emails, the service assumes you've passed and delivers your messages.

Step 3: Automatic delivery. On the scheduled date, the service sends an email to your recipient with a secure link to your message. Most platforms protect the content with a password that only the intended recipient knows.

What should you look for in an afterlife message service?

Not all services are created equal. Here are the key factors to consider:

Who should consider leaving an afterlife message?

The short answer: anyone who has someone they love. But certain situations make afterlife messages especially meaningful.

Parents of young children often worry about what happens if they're not around to guide their kids through life's milestones. A video message for a child's 18th birthday or wedding day can provide comfort and connection that lasts a lifetime.

People with a terminal diagnosis may have time to prepare, but the emotional weight of face-to-face goodbyes can be overwhelming. Recording a message in private, on your own schedule, lets you say what you truly mean without the pressure of the moment.

Military personnel, first responders, and people in high-risk professions face elevated uncertainty. Leaving messages in advance provides peace of mind for both the person and their family.

Older adults may want to share stories, wisdom, or family history. A grandparent's voice telling the story of how they met their spouse is a gift that no amount of money can buy.

Anyone who loves someone and recognizes that tomorrow isn't guaranteed. You don't need a reason beyond that.

How is an afterlife message different from a will?

This is one of the most common points of confusion.

The two serve completely different purposes, and ideally you would have both. A will handles your affairs. An afterlife message handles your heart.

How do you create your first afterlife message?

If you've read this far and you're thinking about creating one, here's a simple process to get started.

Start with one person. Don't try to write messages for everyone at once. Think of the one person who would benefit most from hearing your voice after you're gone.

Choose your format. Video if you're comfortable on camera. A letter if you express yourself better in writing. Voice if you want something personal but low-pressure.

Keep it simple. You don't need to write a speech. Some of the most powerful messages are just a few sentences: "I love you. I'm proud of you. You're going to be okay."

Set a delivery date. Pick a date that has meaning — a birthday, an anniversary, or simply a date far enough in the future that it feels right.

Tell someone it exists. Make sure at least one trusted person knows you've left a message and how to access it.

Frequently Asked Questions

Conclusion

An afterlife message is one of the most meaningful things you can create for the people you love. It doesn't require a lawyer, a large budget, or a terminal diagnosis. It requires only the willingness to say what matters — and the foresight to make sure those words arrive when they're needed most.

The research is consistent: unspoken goodbyes cause lasting pain, and well-said farewells bring peace. The gap between knowing this and acting on it is the space that afterlife message services fill.

If you've been thinking about leaving a message for someone, start with one person, one format, and one honest thought. That's enough.